7) Its not normal

Its just not normal stabbing yourself with needles. Yesterday was one that I have been fearing for a bit. Ive been using the baby needles for about a week now and yesterday I was officially upgraded to the big boys! Its not just a fear of the needle because I know I am strong enough to handle that. Its the added pressure of how expensive all the medications are and I really don't want to mess anything up! Not only am I playing a human pin cushion but also a pharmacist mixing all my meds together. Take 1ml of one solution put it in a vial of powder, take that vial add it to another and another then 300 IUs of another solution and add it to that vial, then take everything out of that vial and inject it into yourself….in the right spot. No pressure. 

My sweet mother in law came over at 6:30pm to help me give my injection. I was nervous. We started by getting everything mixed up. That in itself was a bit nerve wracking but now that I have done it I think it will get easier and easier. Once it was time to find the right spot to inject it, that got a little tricky. Zac said he would help us out but of course when I called him he was on a call. Just my luck. Not to long after he called and we ended up doing FaceTime so he could help us figure out where to inject this needle! It was actually pretty funny now that I look back at it. Poor guy was sitting shotgun with one of his co-workers while I was pretty much showing him my butt asking where the needle goes. He was saying "pull down you pants more", his mom was saying "her butt crack is right here"….hahaha kind of a mess. 

We ended up grabbing a sharpie to make a circle where the needle would go. Cindy and I both decided we would leave the circles on to help us over the next week. She won't have to do my injections every night but for sure on the nights when Zac is not here. I felt pretty bad asking Cindy to do this for me because no one wants to stab their loved ones with a sharp object. I told her that she didn't need to do it and I could try doing it myself because I could see we were both feeling scared! She was just worried about hurting me. I told her that I could do it I just did not want to make her feel uncomfortable. She said she would just do it. So after a couple YouTubes, a FaceTime with the hubs and a sharpie circle on my butt….Cindy sat down on a chair,  I stood by her and put all my weight on my right leg so that I could keep my muscle relaxed on my left leg. I had grabbed an ice pack from the freezer because I figured icing the area could help a bit. No matter what, you are having a needle go into your skin/muscle but maybe its a placebo effect. I think it helped. I removed the ice pack, she wiped the area down with an alcohol towelette and then Cindy told me she was going to do it and BOOM. In the needle went. I actually didn't really feel the needle go in but once it was in a felt a very strange pressure sensation. She pulled the plunger back a bit to make sure there was no blood and when there was no sign of blood she slowly pushed the medication in. Then she told me she was putting the alcohol towelette back on the area so I never felt the needle coming out.  I was happy it was over but I did start to feel light headed afterwards. Not sure if it was the anticipation, the medication or the needle. Sometimes I get this way when I get my blood drawn. I deal with needles and blood all the time at work but sometimes when its me it just hits me weird. So we put a little bandaid on the area and I started to give it a massage. I also grabbed a ginger ale to help with the light headed feeling. After a few minutes I was feeling back to normal. The area felt really sore like I had just done a work out or bruised myself. Im not sure when the symptoms will kick in for these new meds but as of now I am feeling pretty good. One day down. Hope tonight goes smoothly!